What If …?

Last November I sat down at a table at Costa Coffee, opened my notebook and wrote What If …? at the top of the page.  Half an hour later I left with a completely new structure for my coaching business — focusing only on those aspects which I’m really passionate about and which I find the most joyful — and letting go of the rest. This year I’ve been putting that structure into practice and it has made a radical difference to the way I approach, and feel about, my work. m What If… questions can lead you to exciting … Continue reading

Are You Missing This Important Step?

You set yourself a goal. You chunk it down into smaller action steps. You take action towards that goal and finally — days, weeks or months later — you achieve your goal. Happy days! So what do you do next?  Most likely, you’ll move on, set yourself another goal and start the cycle all over again.  All well and good?  Well actually no. It’s great that you’ve achieved your goal, of course, but you’ve missed  out on one crucial step. And that is — taking time out to acknowledge and celebrate your achievement. This may seem like a small thing, … Continue reading

What Went Well Today?

This month's tip is written with Thanksgiving in mind. It's a holiday I remember with great affection from my many years living in Southern California. Much has been written about the importance of gratitude: being mindful of, and appreciating, all that we have to be grateful for, even (and perhaps especially) when times are tough or particularly challenging. But in this tip I'm going to focus on the importance of appreciating ourselves and our achievements. Personally, I don't think we do enough of it. And when we do actually stop to consider what we've achieved — in a day, a … Continue reading

10 Ways to Boost Your Confidence

"The mind is everything. What we think, we become." (The Buddha) Everyone has their ups and downs. No matter how confident we may seem on the outside, I don't know anyone who's 100% confident all the time. While many of us sail along most of the time feeling pretty much OK, every now and again things can conspire to shake our confidence and our sense of self. The word confidence comes from the Latin confidere, which means to have full trust. Confidence is about having faith in yourself – in your qualities and your abilities – and trusting that whatever … Continue reading

Setting Boundaries – a Matter Extreme Self Respect

The term personal boundaries gets bandied around a lot in personal development and coaching circles.  Its meaning isn't always clear and the concept can be a bit confusing, but the more I think about it the more I believe that it's all about respect.  Respect for yourself and respect of others.  Here are some great examples I've encountered recently which might help to illustrate what boundaries are all about: I have a friend who I know on both a personal and a professional basis and I called him at home one weekend to discuss something related to business.  His response was unexpected.  … Continue reading

Upside-Down Goal Setting

Like many others, I’m not a fan of New Year Resolutions. Naturally, the dawning of a brand new year is a great time to take stock and think about all the changes we want to make; but experience shows that the majority of resolutions fall by the wayside, and by February most of us will be back to our bad old ways. So if you want to make changes – and like the idea of doing things a bit differently this year – here’s a new approach: Rather than looking ahead from the beginning of January and trying to figure … Continue reading

From Darkness Into Light

A couple of weeks ago I went to an Advent Procession service in Salisbury Cathedral. The service began in total darkness and then gradually, to the sound of the most sublime choral plainsong, hundreds of candles all around the vast space of the Cathedral were lit and the procession began. It was a deeply moving and uplifting experience. Advent is, of course, all about the coming of the Light.  But we're not far now from the Winter Solstice; that day in the depths of winter that heralds the turning of the earth from winter to spring – from darkness into … Continue reading

Boost Your Energy

Back in June I bought a one-litre pot of red paint. My plan was to paint one of the walls in my office red to make it feel more cosy.  Because I didn't get round to the task right away I dumped the pot in the box room and ever since then not only have I tripped over it countless times, but its very presence has acted as a reproach and reminder that the job was still waiting to be done.  Every time I looked at it my heart would sink and I'd experience an immediate drop in energy. Last week I marched … Continue reading